The following is the opening paragraph of an essay on diversity which the student felt lacked a clear introduction and “hook”.
Diversity is about learning from others who are not the same, about dignity and respect for all, and about being open to learning about our differences. I know that for myself that I treat everyone [...]

The following are the first two paragraphs of a motivation letter for a Dutch student applying to an exchange program.
Dear Sir / Madam,
Bachelor exchange is about new experiences. Getting to know yourself better, getting to know new people, new environments. I would be honoured to be considered as a part of an experience like this.
Let [...]

Here is the first paragraph of a student’s personal statement.
College was never very high on my priority list growing up in a rural southern mill-town. Being born to a small family where education was rarely a focus, homework went unchecked at night along with dinner being uncooked. I had never been told college was important [...]

Here’s the first part of an ESL student’s motivation letter.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,
I am hereby applying for the English-taught bachelor’s programme in ___________, at the University of ___________, for the academic year 2009-2010.
Having lived my whole life in the same country, in the same city is has become my dearest dream to study abroad [...]

Here is an ESL student’s admission essay to a US college
I choose _______for I value the close relationships with my professors. I am the very student who manages to grasp teacher’s message through tacit eye-contacts, who visits teachers’ offices most frequently, and who always attributes much of the excellence in school to close relationships with [...]

Here are the first two paragraphs (which I combined into one) of a motivation letter from an ESL student who wants to study zoology.
What started like a children infatuation became, as I grown up, a passion. A passion for animals and their conservation. I have always known I would have chosen a career involved [...]

Here’s the first paragraph from the personal statement of a student who wants to study history and politics.
From a young age I have found History fascinating and exciting - exploring different topics and learning about the past. I would visit museums and thoroughly enjoyed stories told by grandmother about how World War 2 had drastically [...]

Here’s a motivation letter from an ESL student in the Czech Republic
Dear Sir or Madam.
Having completed the four-year high school program at the _______ _______ of _________, I would very much like to study Graphic Design at ________ ______, starting this January. I would like to apply for the two-year program in order to acquire [...]

Here is the first paragraph of a short story from an ESL student
Death, dead, breathless, deceased, defunct, departed, gone, lifeless, dead, death. I have never have been good with it. I have never been good with death. Never been good with people moving, not liking me, getting in fights with me, not being my friends, [...]

Here’s the first paragraph of an essay about current events from a student.
“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” A quote there from George Orwell’s chilling novel Animal Farm expresses exactly the brand of two-facedness that gay marriage is approached with in this day and age. As most alarmingly shown [...]