The following is the opening paragraph of an essay on diversity which the student felt lacked a clear introduction and “hook”.
Diversity is about learning from others who are not the same, about dignity and respect for all, and about being open to learning about our differences. I know that for myself that I treat everyone [...]

The following is a selection of an ESL student’s entrance essay for college.
Moreover, the University of *** is not the ending of my dream, but a beginning of the new one. I will show my best performance in my academic performance, and enrich the school-life. Above all, I will prepare to catch another dream–work in [...]

Here’s the first paragraph of an ESL student’s essay in which he argues against the development of weapons of mass destruction.
Humanity versus humanity can be hell on earth. Humans have made guns and different kinds of weapons, but the worst thing is that humans have made weapons of mass destruction. Examples of this are the [...]