Editing Tips from Ferpect Edit

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The following are the first two paragraphs of a motivation letter for a Dutch student applying to an exchange program.
Dear Sir / Madam,
Bachelor exchange is about new experiences. Getting to know yourself better, getting to know new people, new environments. I would be honoured to be considered as a part of an experience like this.
Let [...]

Statement of Purpose

January 6th, 2009

The following are the first two paragraphs from an applied physics student’s Statement of Purpose.
I am an M.Tech. student in thePhysics Dept. of (my univ). During the course of my graduate study, I have developed a keen and active interest in the fields of Photonics. I wish to pursue a Ph.D. in the above fields [...]

ESL Business Letter

November 20th, 2008

Here’s the first paragraph of a business letter from an ESL student
Dear Supervisor,
First of all I would like to thanks for sending the information and DVD about the military. After I had read some information about this I decided not to join in this activity. So I would like to let you know that, that [...]

Motivation Letter Part…Many

November 14th, 2008

Here’s a motivation letter from an ESL student in the Czech Republic
Dear Sir or Madam.
Having completed the four-year high school program at the _______ _______ of _________, I would very much like to study Graphic Design at ________ ______, starting this January. I would like to apply for the two-year program in order to acquire [...]

ESL Short Story

November 14th, 2008

Here is the first paragraph of a short story from an ESL student
Death, dead, breathless, deceased, defunct, departed, gone, lifeless, dead, death. I have never have been good with it. I have never been good with death. Never been good with people moving, not liking me, getting in fights with me, not being my friends, [...]

Essay on Current Events

November 13th, 2008

Here’s the first paragraph of an essay about current events from a student.
“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” A quote there from George Orwell’s chilling novel Animal Farm expresses exactly the brand of two-facedness that gay marriage is approached with in this day and age. As most alarmingly shown [...]

ESL Essay on Education

November 12th, 2008

Here are the first two paragraphs of an essay on education from an ESL student.
In my opinion, education should be free. There are a number of social and economic results for free education in many countries.
First of all, free education that means everyone can access school and library resort even if they are rich or [...]

A Personal Essay

November 10th, 2008

The following is the first paragraph of an ESL student’s personal essay.
As a youth I was always an outsider among children of my age. Now that I look back I can see there were many reasons for this gulf between other children and me. In any case having no friends is devastating for a child [...]

A Personal Statement

November 10th, 2008

Here’s the first paragraph of the admissions essay (also known as a personal statement) of an ESL economics student.
Being born and raised in a country where there were not many opportunities for women to get education and become successful in life. My mom did not go to college because women were not really encouraged [...]

Letter of Motivation

November 9th, 2008

I’m thinking of calling these letters of motivation “le mo” for short. Or maybe not.
Here’s the first paragraph for a letter of motivation of an exchange student.
I am a 4th Semester Business Administration student at *** in Germany. I am writing to apply for the Study Abroad program at the ***.
There are several reasons I [...]

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