Editing Tips from Ferpect Edit

Archive for the ‘Motivation Letters’ category

The following are the first two paragraphs of a motivation letter for a Dutch student applying to an exchange program.
Dear Sir / Madam,
Bachelor exchange is about new experiences. Getting to know yourself better, getting to know new people, new environments. I would be honoured to be considered as a part of an experience like this.
Let [...]

Motivation Letter

January 21st, 2009

Here’s the first part of an ESL student’s motivation letter.
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,
I am hereby applying for the English-taught bachelor’s programme in ___________, at the University of ___________, for the academic year 2009-2010.
Having lived my whole life in the same country, in the same city is has become my dearest dream to study abroad [...]

Statement of Purpose

January 6th, 2009

The following are the first two paragraphs from an applied physics student’s Statement of Purpose.
I am an M.Tech. student in thePhysics Dept. of (my univ). During the course of my graduate study, I have developed a keen and active interest in the fields of Photonics. I wish to pursue a Ph.D. in the above fields [...]

ESL Motivation Letter

December 17th, 2008

Here are the first two paragraphs (which I combined into one) of a motivation letter from an ESL student who wants to study zoology.
What started like a children infatuation became, as I grown up, a passion. A passion for animals and their conservation. I have always known I would have chosen a career involved [...]

Motivation Letter Part…Many

November 14th, 2008

Here’s a motivation letter from an ESL student in the Czech Republic
Dear Sir or Madam.
Having completed the four-year high school program at the _______ _______ of _________, I would very much like to study Graphic Design at ________ ______, starting this January. I would like to apply for the two-year program in order to acquire [...]

Letter of Motivation

November 9th, 2008

I’m thinking of calling these letters of motivation “le mo” for short. Or maybe not.
Here’s the first paragraph for a letter of motivation of an exchange student.
I am a 4th Semester Business Administration student at *** in Germany. I am writing to apply for the Study Abroad program at the ***.
There are several reasons I [...]

Don’t let the title fool you. I actually like editing motivation letters. Here’s the original first paragraph (and two errant sentences which should start the second paragraph) written by an overseas industrial engineer.
Dear Sir/Madam
I would like to apply for Programs_____ Tech - ______ ______. It would be great to be a competent candidate in [...]

Motivation Essay

October 14th, 2008

Here’s the first paragraph of a student’s rough draft for a motivation essay (which is the European version of a personal statement).
Dear Sir or Madam,
My name is _____. I am an American citizen living in _________, and I would like to apply for the Bachelor’s program in Economics with the _________ School of Economics. I [...]

ESL Motivation Letter

October 12th, 2008

A motivation letter for a scholarship had the following introductory paragraph in its first draft:
Dear Sirs,
I recently graduate from the Engineering department of the ______ ________ ___ ________ awarding the title of _______ __________. In the last years I have been working on different projects related with nanoscience in collaborations with my University and the [...]

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